Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

Descriptive, cleverly Brit-sounding words and phrases to describe this escape me:

http://www.prattle.net/archives/001659.html

Granted, the weblink there connects only to a report on the page in question. While the original page seems to no more be amongst the lviing or Internet-working (decide for yourself if a sardonic "alas" should be added here), here's just a brief hint of what to expect before you click:

This site is dedicated to spreading the Gospel in the werewolf and furry communities. It is my hope that many trans-species people will accept Jesus as their Savior through this ministry. I will explain the etymology of this website's name. I got the idea from Werewolf Tobias' tradition of calling a werewolf stronghold a House. Well, I'm a dragon, so my ideal stronghold would be a Castle. And since this is MY website where I am MASTER, I call this my Castle.

As I said, words and clever Brit-sounding descriptions escape me. Though I now have this image of a particularly deluded were-otter typing up a storm on an online message board....

Today's Lesson: there is no limit to humanity's eccentricity. (Or stupidity. The words may very well be interchangeable.)


posted by Phillip at 5:49 AM

 

You find the darnedest things inside a giant squid these days: small fish, pieces of an unruly killer whale. And then sometimes you find this.... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6510728/


LIMA, Peru - Peruvian police said on Monday they seized nearly 1,540 pounds (700 kg) of cocaine hidden in frozen giant squid bound for Mexico and the United States. The drugs were covered in pepper to divert sniffer dogs and sealed in several layers of plastic and other wrappers. Police had been on the trail since August.< style="font-style: italic;">

Seven people were arrested in the drug seizure. Police said the haul would have a street value of about $17.5 million. Peru is the world’s No. 2 cocaine producer after Colombia, and many of its drugs end up on U.S. streets after being sent via Mexico.


Or if calamari isn't your thing, how about some sandwiches? http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6511148/

Virgin Mary grilled cheese’ sells for $28,000
MIAMI - A woman who said her 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich bore the image of the Virgin Mary will be getting a lot more bread after the item sold for $28,000 on eBay. GoldenPalace.com, an online casino, confirmed that it placed the winning bid, and company executives said they were willing to spend “as much as it took” to own the 10-year-old half-sandwich with a bite out of it. “It’s a part of pop culture that’s immediately and widely recognizable,” spokesman Monty Kerr told The Miami Herald. “We knew right away we wanted to have it.”

< style="font-style: italic;">Photos posted on eBay show what can be viewed as a woman’s face emblazoned on the sandwich, a bite taken out of one end. Bidding closed Monday. In a statement, GoldenPalace.com CEO Richard Rowe said he planned to use the sandwich to raise money for charity. Kerr and Steve Baker, CEO of GoldenPalace’s management company, Cyberworld Group, flew to south Florida on Monday to make arrangements for a sandwich handover from its owner, Diana Duyser.

< style="font-style: italic;">“I would like all people to know that I do believe that this is the Virgin Mary Mother of God,” Duyser, a work-from-home jewelry designer, said in the casino’s statement. The online auction site initially pulled the sale, saying it didn’t post joke items. The page was restored after the company was convinced that Duyser would deliver on the bid, said eBay spokesman Hani Durzy.

Duyser said she took a bite after making the sandwich 10 years ago and saw a face staring back at her. She put the sandwich in a clear plastic box with cotton balls and kept it on her night stand. She said the sandwich has never sprouted a spore of mold.

Today's Lesson: nature is a strange and wondrous thing to behold. Though sometimes the things we humans do to nature is even stranger.


posted by Phillip at 8:45 PM

 

The day couldn't have started out more ominous for me. It's not even 10:30am yet, and already I have found myself trapped at a summer camp, been chased by an oven-black lobster roughly the size of a toilet seat, although this was only after I had discovered that the neat $104 dollar bill I'd found was in fact counterfeit. (How was I supposed to know?) And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I was subjected to a small horde of Fraggle Rock and Sesame Street characters trying to break this token-generic-Anime-babe out from her cabin (though in their Muppety defense, they were under the influence of mind control at the time), which was really a bad thing since this token-generic-Anime-babe was trying to steal Mel from me.

If this is what it's like to remember your dreams, then suddenly I'm rather pleased to have had great difficulty recalling any prior ones for months on end.

In other news, I need to get my ears cleaned, since last night Mel made a comment to me, and I translated it as, "furniture gay." Which naturally perplexed me to no end, as I'm not used to giving furniture a specific gender, let alone a specific gender orientation.

Oh well.

Today's Lesson: as Freud himself once said regarding dreams, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." $104 dollar bills and maniacal tarantula-sized lobsters don't mean a thing...right? Right?!


posted by Phillip at 7:10 AM

 

Sometimes, what matters more than anything else is not what you know, or even what calibre weapons you are in possession, but it's where you are. Last year, our kiosk was situated near a major intersection with jewellry and telephone stores around us. This year, we're right in the midst of three major clothing stores. The significance of this? All three stores enjoy blasting their music so anyone in the mall promenade can hear it.

So tonight, I was able to close up the kiosk while enjoying Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus, as opposed to visualizing the many psychotic and no doubt painful things I would inflict upon Mariah Carey for her rendition of All I Want For Christmas (Is You). I'd rather reach out and touch faith, thank you very much.

Or, as Kevin would say after watching Buffy season 3: "Reach out and touch Faith." (Amazing how one litlte capitalized letter can turn something philosophical into sex. Then again, most of the best philosophy out there revolves around sex or intimacy in one way, shape or form. Though "I boink, therefore I am" seems more like a line that Havoc, and not Descartes, would say.)

In the meantime, many things have happened in the world.

Mel & I visited Kevin and Donna. There we discovered that I possess the superhuman ability to induce farts from Gabriel whenever he's in my arms. He won't really do it around anyone else, but place him in my arms, and he'll almost instantly let loose with an attack of flatulence. Let someone else pick him up, and the farting ceases. We also discovered that when I play Grand Theft Auto: San Anwhatever, my car is inexplicably attracted to the nearest inanimate object and must crash into it.

Carly and her fiance also stopped over for a weekend visit, and while going through old family photos (as part of a present to our Dad, who will be spending Christmas in Nova Scotia), I must say there's nothing so interesting as to hear one's own sister exclaim, "Good God! Look at me in these pictures! I look like a special needs child!"

And currently it appears that Shady is trying to muscle in on Mel's plate of tater tots, after already having gorfed down a small legion left for her in her food dish. I should probably intervene before Shady tries to point behind Mel, and try to get her to look away. (The tactic's worked for Shady before, I'm chagrined to say...)

Carnivorous Forest update: still refusing to eat the heroes. Have since resorted to attempting to bribe it, and hiding the heroes under a pile of choclate, but the forest seems the be onto my plans.

Today's Lesson: the most unexpected joys can arrive in the unlikeliest of packages, and through the oddest connections.


posted by Phillip at 7:09 PM